i for once

i for once

i welcome the cold.
i welcome the cold
nip of the wind
on the small of my neck
where my scarf
can't quite reach.

i sojourn in the anticipation
of winter's first snow,
which beckons brisk footsteps
as the sun sets;
the temperature races
a downward spiral.

i cherish the gloves
in my backseat
when her hands are cold.
but even more,
i yearn for her to
refuse the gloves.
to take my hand instead.

winter is an icebox
that bolsters cafes.
cafes heated by coffee
and heartfelt conversation.
when she and i enter
i am brought back to life.

there's much to be said about those few fleeting moments we can share together amongst the busyness of the school year and all that is the holiday season. i'm thankful for the time we do spend. today was a good day. God has blessed me indeed.

recently

recently

i did a lot of posts while i was away for thanksgiving at the grandma's... be sure to check out life and poems for all the goodies. :)

to: freedom

to: freedom

break these iron chains up from the ground
you say these words but you don't speak a sound
you've won me over heart and soul
piece by piece i extol
please break my iron chains up from the ground

to: all that we have lacking

to: all that we have lacking

it is said humanity is
sans purpose,
fostering a manufactured ideal.
that we, collectively are
grouped by infirmities, malnourished,
and stand powerless together.

but you raise a mighty fist,
and in collaboration we scream.
inaudible.
even to open ears.

because in the end,
all this noise that we make
is just silence.

to: insincerity

to: insincerity

and so they asked if i wanted to bring back
the days of monoliths and cathedrals
replace what was already here
with things that had once been

with no reply spinning, silent questions
engaging on my innocence
i spoke with speech
restless at best

things can't be the way they seem
living is questioning endless
reason deceives even the core
of who am i?

stevespeak

stevespeak

so i stumbled upon an old definition list i had made. here's the list, plus some added bonuses:

uncontaminated sauce: a dipping sauce that has not been dipped in previously.
facebook official: an important event in a person's life, in which the prominent way of informing friends about said event is through facebook.
vertical sports: any sports that involve jumping or other vertical activities
driver's advantage: in the game of pdiddle, when the driver is able to spot a nonfunctioning headlight in their mirror before the passenger sees it
haberdasher: a good looking person. usually refers to a man.
doubledee's: dunkin donuts
teehoes: tim hortons
maccers: macdonalds
dave: dave matthews band
boom-chuck: 2-step/bluegrass rhythm
cdubs: cartridge world

dress up ideas

dress up ideas

toast
transformers
mario kart
breakfast items
holidays
bowling
monopoly
christmas presents
legos
little letter building blocks
hannah barbara cartoon characters
old lady shoe w/ kids
nintendo characters
hall directors
weather conditions
road signs
apocalyptic bums
breakfast cereal characters
russian gymnast team
michael vic and the dogs
emo kids

habits

habits

i'm wicked squeamish, but i have this terrible habit. i bite my fingers. i literally rip the skin right off my fingers. it never hurts when i'm doing it, but afterwards it'll kill. then it'll hurt for a day or two. my stepdad had to get shots in his fingers for his dry hands. he said that hurt like crazy because there are so many nerve endings in our fingers... i rip the skin off. it can't be good for me. i've tried to break the habit, but it always comes back with the start of larger stresses in my life. school mainly. when i read books. and when i watch movies.

i bit the crap out of them during transformers tonight. again, it's such a pointless movie. i don't see how people liked it. the soundtrack is terrible. all the cheesiest rock music parts come on when there's supposed to be some serious action. but it always comes in all of the sudden, just a bit earlier/later than it should. the timing isn't well done. they need to have fade ins. the dialogue is also terrible in the movie too. and it's all highly predictable. and cheesy. did i mention cheesy? it's the worst teen angst movie i've seen in awhile. actually, probably ever. the plot of the movie is actually this:

sam witwiki is socially awkward. he's got a weird family. he gets bad grades in school. the girls don't like him. sam gets a sweet car, and by an odd turn of events gets to drive the best looking and most popular girl in the movie home. all the robots and whatnot are thrown in just to fill space at this point, and provide a reason for the possibility of sam getting with this girl. it could have been 5 minutes long. as i recall, the classic 80s cartoon transformers wasn't about getting laid. it was about the robots.

don't get me wrong. i'm not bitter about the movie. i just wish they would have done it a bit better. too much lacking across the board.

to: indulgence

to: indulgence

hey, you want half a bagel?
no. you hungry?
yea, you want half a bagel?
sure, if you get it.
ha.
put cream cheese on it.

what would you do?

what would you do?

do you remember those old commercials... "what would you do for a reeses?" or the "there's no wrong way to eat a reeses"

they were so good.

i remember the one where they set them up like dominos. knocked them all down, at the end, the cup flies out into his hand and he eats it. perfect.

i don't remember any others...
but i do know how i eat mine:
i rip the package right open.
i pull off the paper holder.
i shove it in my mouth.
i repeat 12 times.
delicious.
:)

prayer

prayer

grandma's having a lot of fun.
she usually doesn't stay up late.
it's 11:30 now and we're starting another movie.
transformers. mmm, enticing.
i don't think grandma's gonna like this one.

i found myself wondering today whether or no grandma wears contacts. i've never seen her in glasses. and her eyesight is perfect. she's able to read street signs that even i can't see... with my glasses. some people have it lucky. maybe she's got contacts. who knows? i should ask her sometime.

she's got a lot of funny stories about me from when i was a little kid. things that i didn't even know that i did. grandma remembers everything.

i heard said that the possessions in people's homes and rooms show what they care about. i see it most with people who have pictures in their rooms. my friend seth's room has a lot of album art on the walls from bands he listens to. his walls are pretty bare otherwise. he may have a few other pictures of family members and whatnot, but none that i can recall. his brother evan on the other hand has his shelves filled with pictures of his family and friends. it's amazing.

grandma's got a lot of pictures of family. and jesus. grandma loves jesus. grandma believes in prayer too. i know because she told me. she was praying for my dad and i while we were driving here to long island. she prays in the morning when she wakes up. she prays before bed. she prays constantly. about everything. in everything. when grandma says she'll pray for something, she does. and you can tell. she's truly a loving woman.

i'm gonna miss my grandma. she's still really healthy, but for some reason i've been thinking a lot about the importance of family recently, and logging as much time as i can because i don't know how much time is really left... here at least.

i think the more i start to take what jesus said and apply it to my life, and the more i try to love people... the more i realize how important time with family is. sacrifice at this point becomes essential too. my grandma cried when we left. i don't remember her ever doing that. it was so, so important to visit this time.

god answers prayer. that's what grandma says.

the : format

the : format

hmm... it seems that i've lost some of the original creative desire to format my blog differently in the form of letters. i've also found that i've become jealous of the way hope does her blog entries. i've become quite addicted to her blog. a lot of blogs actually. but she updates daily, most of my friends don't do that... anyways...

she's got this neat way she titles all her posts. it starts with a verb, then a colon, then a noun:

verb : noun

examples:
eating : ice cream
listening : death cab

i'd copy it, but that wouldn't be innovative enough for me. sadly, cuz i like it. maybe i'll ask for her permission to post like she does.

anyways, the letter thing didn't work, cuz sometimes i don't want to write letters. i don't feel like addressing them, i don't always feel like being creative. i don't always want to follow a format. i dunno, just some thoughts.

re: a movie

re: a movie

hahaha.... license to wed was hilarious. man. you definitely gotta see it. we laughed so hard we cried. my grandmother was in tears. she couldn't talk. she feels sick from laughing so much she says. it's oh man, just watch it. not to mention all the office cameos. everyone except michael, oscar, and dwight are in it. no one from the warehouse too unfortunately. but kevin's character is amazing. oh, pam wasn't their either. i think it would have been funny for her to pop up as an ex-girlfriend.

:)

a movie

a movie

so they brought back some movies. license to wed. yay! jim halpert! and transformers (seen it... it was hysterically cheesy) it says on my dad's car's cd player that it plays mp3 cds. i hope it's right. because i'm going to put a bunch of mp3s on a cd, and i want to listen to them while going home. :) it's exciting. i went to bestbuy today and got a bunch of black friday items. some dvds to burn on and a 12pack of cds to burn on for the ride home. i also got some 2 gig flash drives. my mom lost hers. she payed 50 bucks for a 1 gig. haha, i got the two gigs for 15 each. a steal. i gotta say. anyways, i realized i'm a sucker for a good deal.

:) my grandmother is so cute. i've missed her.

off to a movie. out.

leaving tomorrow

leaving tomorrow

so tomorrow is the day we'll be leaving. it's not so bad. this weekend feels extremely short. prolly cuz i had to close the building on wednesday, and got up so early thursday morning to travel. it really doesn't feel like friday though. tomorrow is saturday. and that's crazy cuz i'm going home tomorrow. i wonder what time we'll be leaving and if there will be traffic. i hope not. i hope we leave a tad early too, i'd like to get home. although, i'm not sure what i'll do when i'm home. maybe i'll phone adrienne and see if she wants to go do something. or something. anyways, i guess i'll see.

my dad was out shopping with my aunt and grandma. i think he just got back. i really wish i could mooch of a neighbor's wireless internet here. i'm dying to get online. i want to talk to people. to see how they're doing. maybe it's good to have no internet. it forces me to be social and interact with people. which is why i'm writing blog entries with no internet, with an intention of posting them later. but there's no one here really. i don't like going shopping where they went. bob's, marshalls, t.j. max. ew.

to do list

to do list

things i should be doing while i'm here... since i have less distractions:

study
study
study
study
study
study
study
study
study
procrastinate

maybe my list is out of order... or my priorities aren't where they should be. i find myself saying, "i'll study later, spend time with grandma now." or "i'll watch a movie with some people" or "ooh, christmas shopping" instead of studying. ah well, maybe i'll study later. the night is young, only 8:17. it feels SO MUCH later.

turkey day

turkey day

so thanksgiving was good. i ended up going with my dad to new york... which is where i am now. unfortunately i've got real no internets, but i can plug in here every now and again and have it. i just have to unplug my uncle's compy.

things i'm thankful for:
family
friends who aren't into conspiracy theories
good times
shopping on black friday
wireless internet
bob's pecan pie (amazing)

adrienne couldn't make it to long island... i miss her. i wish she could have come, but i understand having to be where your family is. that's why i'm here. i hope i can see her for christmastime. it's nice to be with certain people around the holidays. i don't know what differentiates them from other times... but it's just... special.

it is finished

it is finished

welcome to the new matchbook fade. :) finally done. i think it was well worth it. isn't she pretty?

updates

updates

i updated some stuff on the blog, but i think it's time for a revamp. i've been learning what all the html on the blog means, and now i think it's time for an overhaul. wish me luck :)

re: santa claus

re: santa claus

if you haven't checked out the original post

but here's my updated list:

camera:
canon 40d
canon ef 24-105mm f/4l is usm
lens filters (if i get the new lens) polaroid and uv

guitar:
fender stratocaster
electric guitar amp
guitar strap
guitar tuner

drums:
ludwig black beauty snare 5x14
snare mounted tambourine
shaker (cylinder shape)

books:
born to buy
the tipping point

food:
family size box of wheat thins
hummus
dehydrated vegetables
some really good juice
reed's ginger brew

clothes:
american apparel tshirts... medium... good colors
a sweet belt
gap 1969 boot cut low rise authentic japanese denim jeans 30/32
batteries for my swatch watch
watch with brown band and green face

dorm room:
posters of sweet bands
a trendy rug
gift certificates (starbucks, gap, urban outfitters, threadless)

i updated

i updated

so i updated the blog.
i hope you are enjoyed.
it actually took me a lot longer than i had expected it to. but i'm pleased with the results... for now. the header needs a little bit of work, but since it's past 4 am, i'm done. so glad i don't have any classes tomorrow. :) yay.

to this post (actually, it comes after the one below it, but if you're lazy, and don't want to read both, this may be the better one to start with)

to this post (actually, it comes after the one below it, but if you're lazy, and don't want to read both, this may be the better one to start with)

so a few weeks ago, i got rid of my facebook and created a new profile under the name dustin faust. i may have blogged about this, but i don't remember. it was a way to purge, and be friends with people instead of just facebook friends. so i requested the friends that i remembered seeing recently, or spent time with on a regular basis. i have one tenth of the friends that i used to. it's quite nice.

but my primary reason for doing this was so i could actually be friends with the people i claimed friendships with. so what does this mean? well, it means that i pray for my friends. i go through the list, and i pray for these people. usually just lifting a name up to God, other times, having the feeling the someone's life is in turmoil, or needing to just truly thank God for that person, i may stick with a name for longer than the rest. but i've been seeing the hand of God a lot more in my friends' lives. when i talk to them now, and ask them how they are, i actually mean it. i actually want to know how they are.

i want to get past the, "hey, how's your day?" "good" response. and i think i have. i think in a lot of ways God is causing me to become closer with these people, even if i'm really not as close as i would like to be. i'm becoming better friends with people, through spending time with God for them. it's really amazing. it's especially amazing for those of them who have blogs, and i see God at work in their lives through what they may mention.

anyways, that's how God's been blessing me a lot recently. through the internet. who would have thought that love in real tangible ways, would come through something as terrible as the internet... haha

to another day

to another day

so today was good.

i was on call last night, which meant bed wasn't going to happen until at least 12:30. which i got to go to bed at exactly 12:30, which was such a blessing. i woke up this morning at around 8:30. the fire inspection people showed up at around 10. they banged on my door. "hold on!" i was changing my clothes. another knock. "wait a minute!" door starts opening. i dove under my blankets and pretended to be asleep. my wall director looks in, "still sleeping, he's such a hoot." i let them leave and put my pants on.

i don't really remember what i did between 8:30 and 10. i think i had intended on showering, but that didn't happen until about noonthirtyish. i also intended to study for arabic and econ. i was only able to study for econ. i wonder where the time goes. i had another omelette for breakfast. i didn't like this one for some reason or another. it wasn't as satisfying as yesterdays. the apples around here haven't been as good either. but i had guava juice with my breakfast this morning, so it's all good. adrienne's been drinking this berry smoothie stuff that tastes like a shake with unsweetened yogurt in it. i like it. it may be a healthy way to get my servings of fruit in for the day. now only if they made a vegetable juice that tastes good. if you find one, let me know.

econ today was great for many reasons. one: it was all about being green. and gas prices. and the economy. i'm under the persuasion that gas prices should be raised. i don't think we're paying what we should be. we're not paying that ACTUAL cost of gasoline. its harm on the environment, the time we waste in traffic by there being too many cars on the road. in a lot of ways i envy my friend andrew. he's been able to survive on the buses and bumming rides from friends i'm sure. not to mention the stories and lives he's able to interact with by taking public transportation. we don't get that interaction in cars. usually when we're in them, we're just pissed off at the petite woman in the mammoth suv talking on her cell phone while drifting into our lane.

i have so many friends who would make good christians. they'd make great christians. they genuinely care about people and the world around them. they make sacrifices for people. they show love to people who don't seem to deserve it at all. they turn the other cheek. they bend their backs to make sure someone else is happy. no one thanks them, but they keep on doing it. and a lot of these friends of mine are so unfulfilled. if they'd place their trust in christ to make them happy instead of these actions, and give their lives to him, while still following this trend of good works, they would have such full lives. it's amazing how i see people who don't look to jesus as the source of anything they do, but can show love in so many ways i fail to. i need to love people better.

so many of my residents are leaving for thanksgiving. i'm going to miss them over this brief respite. a majority of them are my friends. i'd like to reach out to some of them better. i will i'm sure.

band practice is in a little over an hour. i've been looking forward to it all week. i can't wait. i was supposed to be on call tonight, but one of the RAs in my building traded last night for tonight with me. being a musician, he understands the importance of music in my life as well. it's awesome. plus, God blessed me with it. i can see it so clearly.

this is a long post, i'm going to post my next thought... so if you couldn't make it to the bottom of this one, you'd read the one before it. which will technically be above it. you may have already read it. unless you read the instructions.

to a work in progress

to a work in progress

i've begun the process of treating my body better and getting adequate sleep. i'm putting myself on a sleep cycle. i'll probably end up sick by it, since it's a radical change, going to bed earlier, and waking up earlier. but it's a price i'm willing to pay to end up living a more healthy, more fulfilling day.

think about it. it starts getting dark now at 3. 3 o clock, the sun is already turning in. and i would stay up until at least 2... usually 3 or 4 in the morning. then i'd wake up at some random time in the morning, hitting snooze a million times, and finally when i'd get out of bed i'd feel like waste. but if i get up earlier... say, 8:30 on the nights i'm on call (that way i can get 8 hours of sleep) and 8 on regular days... going to bed at 11, i can get more out of my day. i can be awake when it's warm out. imagine the thought.

i discovered some exercise machines in the computer lab earlier this year. i finally got curious about them tonight and asked if they were operable and available to use. the answer is yes. they have stairmasteresque machines, and a treadmill. i may break out the ishuf and go running. i've got the sneakers for it. i should use them. i think i prefer running indoors more too. i love outside, but it's cold, and there's no reason to go out in it unless i have to. and running isn't a good enough reason. plus on a treadmill i can actually log how fast i'm going, how long i run, how many calories i burn, and how far i run. also it's less to think about. so maybe getting physical activity... starting with a short, manageable block every day would be worth it. and possible.

to your mother

to your mother

well... maybe this isn't to your mother. but an episode of the office froze on me as i was watching it. and it dawned on me: this is a face only a mother could love. a really... loving mother.

to instability

to instability

most of my posts are late at night. lately it's been because i stay up watching movies, and because of checking woot.com... it's an addiction. tonight, they have this thing called a woot off, that refreshes an item every time they sell out. it seems as if they sell small quantities of these items, none of them are very high priced, and some of them are actually decent. i've found a christmas present or two on there already. yay for early shopping.

4 movies i've seen recently:
rattatoulle
eternal sunshine on a spotless mind
snatch
when harry met sally

the first and the last were the best. i'm a big fan of cartoons, and romantic comedies are always a likely vacation. eternal sunshine was as i expected it to be. exactly the kind of movie that i tried to make with my friends in high school. i can't believe it took me so long to see it after people had recommended it so much to me based on my editing style. now i don't make movies anymore. takes too much time and i don't have a camera. or the interest. however, i think the movie was well done, and if you're into some sort of a trippy movie experience, feel free to check it out. it got me thinking about stuff. snatch is my friend danny's favorite movie. i thought it was terrible. but that's usually how i am. i don't like the movies that most guys like... i think they should have developed brad pitt's character a lot more. although, if they did, it would have been a lot like fight club. which is also a movie i'd recommend, but only if you've seen it before. if not, read the book. if you like it, see the movie. you may or may not like it after that. i thought the movie did an interesting take, although the book is definitely something special. and a force to be bargained with.

right now woot! is selling 7 mile walkies... i feel like i should buy them. only 12 bucks. not a bad deal. i could talk to adrienne across the street. or i could just call her with my phone. yea, that'd probably be a better idea.

so i sold my book on amazon... it sold pretty quickly after i posted it. still no bites on guitar hero 2. and i'm the lowest price too. lame. but the book wasn't a bad sell. i bought it for 12 bucks after shipping. sold it for a 7 after amazon's commission. shipping was only 2 bucks cuz i sent it media mail. and uh, yea... made 5 bucks. which means, it cost me about 7 bucks to read it. not a terrible deal, although i think next time i'll just keep the book. maybe. it may build up with a lot of books if i do it this way. or i could go to the library. maybe adrienne's right. haha.

i've got a lot on my mind tonight i think.

i should go to bed.

but know that God is at work... and i'm fully aware of that... and he's moving in ways i can't even see and describe, but i can feel that movement, and it excites me. anyways. i hope all is well with you all. peace.

to vanity part deux

to vanity part deux

so you want to see the pictures we took? no? oh well, here they are anyways.

click it or ticket.

to nostalgia

to nostalgia

so we're moving on friday, and my mom was repacking all of the things from my grade school childhood. i wrote so many journals back then as part of grade school remedial writing exercises. anyways, this is one of them... or at least a few snippets from one. i'll add captions in case they're hard to read.




my worst fear is getting killed. what is your worst fear? my 2nd worst fear is wathing so much tv i get real bad grades.
teacher: [corrected wathing to watching] "i don't like being on the top of a mountain, really." [in relation to the bad grades comment] "you'd better not"


teacher: "ps: please don't color your journal on the outside any more as i'm afraid it will get on my clothes! :)"

to vanity

to vanity

so my mom's been in this photography thing at risd for awhile, and she's finally getting into the meatier courses. today i went on a photo shoot with her in the lab. we did lighting stuff. it was a lot of fun, and i don't really mind the camera at all, or mirrors. i'm so vain. i think the song is about me. but that's okay. the pictures turned out well. which is good.

she's so funny with this whole photography thing. she went out and bought a top of the line dslr, and 2 amazing lenses... the best two in their categories... and she knows nothing about technology. amazingly, some of her photos come out really well, although it's hard not to have good photos with a camera like that.

i shoot with a rebel, which has never been the same since i let her borrow it half a year ago. which is why i've been thinking about a new camera... and keeping the rebel as a backup if i want one to shoot with that i really don't care about getting stolen, and still have awesome quality shots. it'd be nice. but yea, i'm getting to the point with where i am where the feel of the camera isn't cutting it anymore. it was okay at first, but now it just doesn't feel right when i use it, it's really an odd thing... the same thing goes for certain drum sticks too. so i guess it's normal.

the zune is so ridiculous i can't stand it.
i also think i'm going to buy my mom an ipod for christmas.
apple sells refurbished ones for a hundred bucks. not a terrible price, but still kind of spendy, and i know she'll love whatever i get her regardless of the price, so i'm kind of tossing the idea back and forth. again, i'm not so sure how she'll fare with the technology, even though it's extremely intuitive. who knows?

anyways, this post ended up being nothing about vanity and more of a "here's what i'm currently thinking about" they seem to be doing that lately. i think it's weird how this started off as poems and excerpts from real letters to people, but turned into just general updates. i guess i stopped writing creatively for a bit.

oh, by the way. i started my new art project. but i can't show you. because it's for/about someone. it's kinda frustrating not being able to share and get feedback, but it's okay because i'd rather be in the dark with what people think about it cuz i want it to just be my project in a sense. anyways, i may post some snippets once the project is finished completely.

to santa claus

to santa claus

i know. christmas is forever away. but as my mom says, as soon as my birthday is over (in may) i start thinking about christmas. this is somewhat true to an extent... although i'd like to believe that i'm less of a consumer than i am. but i am. although not mindless. that's not the point. onto what i'm actually talking about.

like i was saying, christmas is somewhat far away, but i've already started thinking about it. i usually make a list of things that i want for christmas, but this year, i decided to do something else first. i made a list of people that i want to get things for for christmas. i know. it's crazy. can i buy people's happiness? we'll see.

i've been putting to work the passage in the bible where jesus talks about using our material wealth to make friends so we'll be welcomed into eternal dwellings. i bought a vanload full of high school kids a dozen donuts, and 2 liters of coke. the joy couldn't be contained. so yea, just another tangible way to follow jesus' teachings.

i wish i could say what i'm getting everyone or making some people. i'm really excited about it, i gotta say.

also, here's my list so far...
fender stratocaster
electric guitar amp
canon 40d
canon ef 24-105mm f/4l is usm
born to buy
the tipping point
family size box of wheat thins
american apparel tshirts... medium... good colors
guitar strap
a sweet belt
gap 1969 boot cut low rise authentic japanese denim jeans 30/32
posters of sweet bands
gift certificates (starbucks, gap, urban outfitters, threadless)
guitar tuner
guitar strap
a rivet gun (i don't need this... i just figure it might be useful someday...)

to her (or rather the post about her... pertaining to the blue hippo)

to her (or rather the post about her... pertaining to the blue hippo)

so anyways...
i bought this adorable ceramic blue hippo piggy bank when i went to savers with a bunch of my residents the other weekend. now, i think the thing is darn adorable, but i really have no use for it, and i have a habit of collecting cute useless things, so i decided to try to sell it on ebay. (view post below)

now adrienne comes into my room one day and spots the blue hippo. she affirms that it indeed is the most adorable ceramic blue useless item that i've accrued as of yet, but thinks that i'm absurd for purchasing it. especially since i was trying to sell it on ebay.

in quite bothered tones, gradually growing louder, she begins to voice her frustration in that i'm only really trying to sell it on ebay as an excuse to keep it. i'm aghast at her accusations of course, as i never originally had that intention (although i'm sure that's the real reason i decided to sell it)

but now, ohhohoho... it didn't sell on ebay. and i get to keep it. mission accomplished.

i'm in the process of reading the book blink. it's a great book about how much of the thoughts we have are actually unconscious, and how to come to terms with the fact that the majority of decisions that we make in two seconds are statistically just as good as our highly informed decisions. if you're doubting me, read the book, it makes a really good case. or i'll explain it to you sometime... which i'm sure will be more exciting for you ryan los types out there... yea, you know who you are.

origins was good tonight. the open mic was great last night too. it was really cool seeing my friend liz play guitar and do really well... she did a colbie cailat song and sounded just like her when she sang it. it was quite amazing. i played grey street on guitar for people, but messed up the chorus while trying to sing and play as i always do. but it's okay. one day i'll get it, and it'll be good. :) but yea, open mics are good. broke down with chris and bryant afterwords and got to joke around about a lot of stuff. bought chris his christmas presents... (lol... christmas is chris and thomas put together... never thought of that) christmas... haha anyways yea... it's exciting.

origins was good. lisa talked about history. about how it's important and how we are in it as well as a big part of it. it got me thinking about the decisions i tend to make, and whether or not they influence history in a good or a bad way. since i'm writing history with every action, i wonder how i'm letting God write that history in a bigger and better way than i could ever imagine. i think i left my bible at origins last week. i've been using an online one, in coordination with esword since then, but i don't remember if i left it there or if it's misplaced somewheres in my room. i guess next time i'll just have to remember to check there.

i've been kind of absentminded lately. wow i'm writing a lot, but i think it's worth getting it all down since i haven't written much lately. anyways, i've had my netflix in my backpack since monday, and i've been meaning to put them in the mail so i can get some new movies, and i've been to the union every single day this week... WITH MY BACKPACK. but i keep forgetting to put them in the mail. i've even checked my mail. and gotten packages. but i forgot. i think tomorrow i'll prolly get some more books in and check my box then. i also wonder who i did on my math test... and how much my econ test got scaled. mead scales a lot.

watched a movie with adrienne tonight. rattatoulle. it was amazing. i laughed so hard at all the wrong things, and i think she laughed harder at me losing it over the little things than the things that were actually funny. although there were a few scenes that were genuinely hysterical, and meant to be so. but i'd recommend it. it's a good flick. it's both fun and clean. go see it. you'll like it. trust me.

anyways, i think bed is an order. i hope i get out of this creative block sometime soon. i haven't done anything new in quite some time, and it's starting to get to me. anyways.

to absurdity

to absurdity

apparently tmobile owns the color magenta... or the rights to it at least. i just read something about it. it's pretty absurd.

to art

to art

i'm working on some new stuff... i'll upload once it's all done

i'm liking it... not sure what it is yet though

to the past

to the past

lately my artwork has been kind of lazy... i keep looking for quick ways to do the things i know take the most time. like the panda buffet lady says, "look, you gonna have to wait. good food take time!" but i don't feel like i have the patience anymore, and i feel like i'm at an interim stage with my work... i don't know whether i want to do vector pop or grunge... or maybe somewhere inbetween. but what i do know is that i went through a grunge phase once... this is one of the things i came up with.

[click for bigger]

to getting what i need

to getting what i need

maybe it should be my new years resolution to eat better...
this is the result of a dietary analysis between september 21 and september 23

to satisfaction

to satisfaction

i'm puzzled as to why companies produce a "family sized" box of snack crackers that doesn't come close to satisfying. i think i'm going to write the producers of wheat thins and triscuit complaints about their products. it might look like this:

dear [insert company name here]
i have a major complaint about your product.
the box isn't big enough. perhaps in addition to "family size" on the box, you should put a disclaimer about how some people may not be satisfied and want to buy two boxes instead of one. it may be a good marketing strategy to create a bigger box... perhaps calling it "steve carroll size". then i may be satisfied. until then, i will continue to buy your crackers as they are delicious, but they leave me wanting. perhaps this is why you make the family size box so small... so we buy more. you're smart. too smart.

-steve carroll
[cracker lover]
[stay at home musician]

p.s. i'd make a good mascot for a cracker company... forget putting rachel ray on your box... she's a tool.