to toby

to toby

i kinda have this way of thresholding people that i've never seen done before... it gets a much better exposure, and incorporating a bit of color is always nice. i have a ton of these i've done of people over the past, but toby looks like such a gangster i couldn't resist posting this one.

to life

to life

sparks fly and i find you there, in the glow and it fades away.

to selling things

to selling things

i'm selling this
here's the link:
blue hippo

to josh

to josh

today was an important day for josh, being the first day of eighth grade and all. his teachers would be expecting him on time and ready, with all his books, pens, and pencils in the proper order. he would learn how to be responsible. he would learn it faster than he thought. at least, he would have if that cadillac hadn't come out of nowhere.

to inability

to inability

a shocking trait apparent in people my age is their inability to make up their minds. we are unwilling to have a steadfast moral compass. we are fickle fans of friendship. purity is nonexistent. just stay safe. our generation is more concerned with quick gratification than the patience of pleasing others. so i sit on the sidelines while i watch my friends ruin themselves.

it sucks that no one told them that they didn't have to be like anyone else.

to armor

to armor

in ephesians, paul talks about putting on the full armor of God.
every day i have to make sure that i give everything to God.
i trade my dirty clothes for the full armor of God.
instead of wearing my doubt, i exchange it for the belt of truth.
i have to throw out my covering of sin and adorn the breastplate of righteousness.
thinking about my misguided steps i fit my feet with the readiness that can only come from the Gospel.

this will continue to stretch and mold me every day.

to recent personality posts

to recent personality posts

so all this ellen stuff got me thinking about how i view myself, and what may or may not be true about what people think of me. fact is... i know there are things about me that i've got to change to align myself more with the image of Christ. and i'm getting there. but it's taking time.

to who i am sometimes

to who i am sometimes

three years ago/now

Extraversion 60%/53%	Stability 76%/76%
Orderliness 53%/30%	Accommodation 63%/30%
Interdependence 70%/63%	Intellectual 56%/43%
Mystical 30%/50%	Artistic 70%/90%
Religious 90%/90%	Hedonism 16%/10%
Materialism 50%/56%	Narcissism 50%/70%
Adventurousness 63%/43%	Work ethic 43%/36%
Self absorbed 36%/63%	Conflict seeking 56%/56%
Need to dominate 23%/36%	Romantic 83%/83%
Avoidant 10%/30%	Anti-authority 36%/56%
Wealth 56%/90%	Dependency 23%/36%
Change averse 43%/70%	Cautiousness 70%/56%
Individuality 50%/63%	Sexuality 56%/76%
Peter pan complex 30%/36%	Physical security 90%/90%
Physical Fitness 64%/37%	Histrionic 30%/50%
Paranoia 16%/10%	Vanity 63%/90%
Hypersensitivity 16%/16%	Indie 23%/53%

to living life to the fullest

to living life to the fullest

i took a test to rate my life tonight. like i thought, i need to pay more attention to my friendships and family.

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	9.5
Mind:	9.2
Body:	8.6
Spirit:	9.6
Friends/Family:	5.9
Love:	7.7
Finance:	7.9
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

to imperfection

to imperfection

i just took a personality disorder test. here are the results. how do they look to you?

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Personality Disorder:	Low
Schizoid Personality Disorder:	Low
Schizotypal Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Antisocial Personality Disorder:	High
Borderline Personality Disorder:	Low
Histrionic Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Narcissistic Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Avoidant Personality Disorder:	Low
Dependent Personality Disorder:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	Moderate
-- Take the Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Info --

to ten items or less

to ten items or less

10 things i would love to get rid of... but can't :(

1) monday mornings
2) general education requirements
3) my lack of a better word
4) the word colloquium. no one can pronounce it right every time
5) people who can't think for themselves
6) the way the media degrades women and true beauty
7) early closing times
8) colds
9) financial restrictions
10) the way rhode islanders pronounce choice words

to "my friend"

to "my friend"

you are not your clothes.
you are not your hair.
you are not your friends.
you are not your calorie intake.
you are not your latest diet.
you are not your newest trend.
you are not your parents' mistake.
you are not your self image.

you are beautiful.

not because of anything you can do.
but because God created you.
but because God loved you.
but because God loves you.

God provides your clothes.
God can count the hairs on your head.
God is bigger than your friends.
God is not concerned with your calorie intake.
God made food for you to eat.
God wants to be your newest trend.
God spoke you into being.
God made you in his image.

and you are beautiful.

to getting older

to getting older

i have this friend who just turned 20.

she's lost her memory
her eyesight is terrible
she's using old person jargon
she listens to dated music
she watches old movies

next year, she'll be 80.

to being someone

to being someone

In a room I know of, there’s a sign with things printed on it that says, “don’t be like… my friend” here’s a preview.

My friend is disgusting. 9:38pm

My friend is so excited to see her boyfriend tonight. 11:09am

My friend is unable to sleep because she feels like trashhhhhhhhhhhh. 1:30am

October 23

My friend is wishing people would send her letters :(. 11:32pm

My friend is miserable. 10:32pm

My friend is wishing her mother was no longer breathing. 5:18pm

My friend is wishing it was friday. 8:39am

October 22

My friend is miserable beyond words. 11:55pm

My friend is so bloated and gross :(. 5:47pm

My friend is fat. 1:46pm

October 21

My friend is tiredish. 10:34pm

My friend is fat. 6:53pm

October 20

My friend is stomach ache :(. 10:28am

My friend is seeing her boyfriend today. 8:42am

October 19

My friend is disgusting. 9:13pm

My friend is miserable beyond words. 3:28pm

My friend is wishing someone could make her feel beautiful, even if she's not.
8:11am

October 18

My friend is feeling really bad about herself, more than usual. 11:00pm

My friend is really wishing it was saturday so she could see her baby. 1:36pm

October 17

My friend is miserable. 6:01pm

My friend is most likely failing her chemistry exam at 2. 1:36pm

My friend is trick-or-treating again. 1:22pm

My friend is miserable. 1:15pm

October 16

My friend is disgusting. 11:24pm

My friend is tired. 1:59pm

October 15

My friend is fat. 8:59pm

October 14

My friend is SO TIRED. 7:34pm

My friend is missing her boyfriend. 12:59pm

October 13

My friend is spending the day with the husband <3. 9:02am

October 12

My friend is desperate to be in her babys arms :(. 11:56pm

My friend joined the group I Genuinely Don't Care What Others Think About Me.
12:37pm

October 11

My friend is DIEING. 10:18pm

My friend is not fucking part of red sox nation so stop trying to get her to be.
5:54pm

My friend is sick. 9:30am

My friend is feeling like dirt. 9:03am
October 10

My friend is so miserable. 10:27pm

My friend is definitley getting sick. 6:38pm

My friend is not in the mood to do anything at all. 4:57pm

My friend is starting to get sick. 7:50am

October 9

My friend is tired. 8:57pm

My friend is tired. 5:23pm

My friend is really missing her baby. 1:17pm
October 8

My friend is tired and miserable. 3:53pm

My friend is really not okay. 12:29am

October 7

My friend is not okay. 3:22pm

My friend is wishing she could leave her house and not come back ever. 2:51pm

My friend is unhappy. 12:50pm

My friend is waiting for her baby to come over. 11:07am

to vitamin water

to vitamin water

a few nights ago a couple of people patrolling the hallways and came upon my hall. it was late, and i was asleep since i'm in the process of getting over getting a cold. so a friend of mine had been out partying earlier in the night, and i'm assuming he smelled at least a little bit like booze. he was of course toting a bottle, one commonly used for mixing: vitamin water. the bottle was empty at this point, but one of my staff members asked him if she could smell it, he complied. she handed it off to the other to smell. soon after this, my resident cops up, "hey, can i smell it?"

i heard about this incident the next day, which nearly brought me to tears laughing.

to a fresh start

to a fresh start

so i was thinking... with my job as an ra, there are a lot of interesting stories to tell. i obviously can't mention names, but i'm going to try to tell as many of those stories as i can without risking someone getting in trouble, or things of that nature. anyways.

to robin williams

to robin williams

i noticed today that bono looks a lot like robin williams. and today's episode of the office was hilarious. that is all.



and this is still hilarious
http://www.nbc.com/The_Office/video/#mea=169249

friends

friends

andrew
hope
jake and maggie
jeff and lisa
lauren
matt
sami
suzie
chris

to music (top ten albums 2007)

to music (top ten albums 2007)

i posted this on jeff and lisa's blog, so i decided to put it on my own... with some explanation, although none is really necessary.

Neon Bible
Arcade Fire
[not only a great album, but when i saw them on saturday night live, i hated them. now i can't stop listening... records that turn your thoughts around are worth it.]

We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank
Modest Mouse
[beautiful. their musicality is truly improving. so are their hooks.]

Cassadaga (combined with Four Winds EP)
Bright Eyes
[while the end of the album is slow, the lyrics are still as real as they've ever been, and the Four Winds EP greatly makes up for any misplaced tracks.]

Volta
Björk
[she amazes me with every album she continues to pull out. this one's phenomenal... and makes me forget about her awkward dancing during performances.]

Sky Blue Sky
Wilco
[took a bit to grow on me... i miss their harder sound like muzzle of bees and misunderstood... but it all comes together so nicely in this album. i even made a poster to commemorate its release.]

It Won't Be Soon Before Long
Maroon 5
[wow. i still listen to this album practically every day. perfectly put together, not a track out of place. brilliant. and to think, they were once kara's flowers... torrent them, you'll understand why this album is so different.]

Graduation
Kanye West
[yea. we all know fifty's album sucked. who cares? this album is phenomenal.]

The Shepherd's Dog
Iron & Wine
[i've only listened to it a couple of times, but it'll soon be one of my favorites at the rate it's growing on me. truly a tremendous effort.]

In Rainbows
Radiohead
[shut up. you mean i can pay whatever i want? 600 dollars? 0 dollars? can i pay in yen? anyways. i've only listened to ok computer up to this point. this album, albeit different... still draws me in like okcompy did. but, it's somehow newer.]

The Alchemy Index: Volumes I & II—Fire & Water
Thrice
[i'll admit, i haven't had the time or space to listen to this album yet. but given their track record, this is bound to be solid. plus i've been following it on the website. anyways, check it out.]


runners up:
fall out boy
interpol
sage francis
common

well... that's the list. feel free to +add-subtract/divide*multiply/

to me from 2005

to me from 2005

...but as i'm in my box, other things enter. sickness, death, turmoil and tears. god, where are you now? this is your box, why aren't you in it?

so i moved onto another box. where had my dedication gone? my liberty changed gears, and i was forced to create my own box.

it will be worn. there will be holes and empty spaces that i just can't fill. one day, when my box breaks, i'll walk down the narrow road, and find the box i left.

it is purified. i am purified.

to new things

to new things

we played with flashlights on the beach.
we did flashlight painting.
we painted pictures with flashlights.

we were snowmen and ninja turtles
we created interesting ways to kill each other,
we shot lasers out of our eyes,
we had fins like mermaids and hats like gentlemen.
we even flew.

we did that kind of thing,
and we were quite entertaining.

to learning

to learning

i'm learning how to say "i love you" to people i love, not in a romantic sense, but in a sense of real love and compassion for others. it's a refreshing concept. when i say i love you, i mean it fully, only in a different similar way to the way i tell you that i love you. it's odd.

to day adventure

to day adventure

to insufficiency

to insufficiency

i'm crying because so much of you makes no sense in me.
it's packed away somewhere in here and i can't find it.
i even looked for it because i wanted it a few weeks ago.
but the last few times a tried it i messed it up and lost it.
the biggest thing i guess i'm trying to say, in roundabout
terms is that i need you. and i love you. and even though
i don't understand you, and so much of you gets mulled
and feels so incomplete because i can never see the whole
picture, i'm satisfied knowing what i know. but here's the
paradox: i'll always want to know more. you're all of me.
and
that's
never
enough.

music i like

music i like

bjork
there's always so much more to her music every time i listen to it. it's a new experience every time... always dictated by the mood i'm in, and always changing the mood i'm in. her music makes me anxious mostly. sometimes it makes me miss my friends. other times it's unpredictable. her live performances though... i don't know... they're always cool conceptually, but she bounces on stage and moves like a poorly programmed robot... her albums are sweet though.

death cab for cutie
i discovered deathcab on the crux of their transatlanticism album quite accidentally. but their music is one of the largest driving forces for me wanting to make music, and enjoying music. i listened to plans over 200 times when it came out. i'm still not sick of it. every time i hear ben gibbards voice singing over the stereo i can't help but think that maybe i could do what they do. they're so extraordinarily ordinary.

sufjan stevens
what is this guy besides amazing. my friend dan says he was once part of an islamic cult. if that's what it takes to play over 40 instruments and be a freaking genius, sign me up. dan could be lying though. he's italian like me.

dave matthews band
they're all so talented, and still so talented when they're drunk. a few years ago i asked a friend (who didn't even really listen to them) "hey, what songs should i listen to if i want to get into dave matthews band?" foolish decision. they're amazing. and carter beauford (BOW-ferd) is my hero. well... my mom is. but he's close. very close.

thrice
such musically diverse hardcore it blows my mind. my friend andrew does a partial cover of music box that would blow you away. my glorious>music box>salty grave medley. it's like the ultimate vegetable medley of music. also, check out dustin kensrue. their lead who did a solo project.

brand new
black rebel motorcycle club
regina spektor
ryan adams
bright eyes
bluegrass covers of pop songs
maroon 5
the killers
anathallo
copeland
derek webb
page france
jars of clay
david crowder band
john mayer
coltrane
thelonious monk
beck
moby
u2
interpol
fall out boy
wilco
radiohead
kanye west
miles davis
needtobreathe
dustin kensrue
dispatch
coldplay
david monica
formal action
billy joel
postal service
counting crows
sigur ros

burn me a cd. that's what jesse did. now i love matt pond pa.

about the blog

about the blog

you know the part on the matchbook that you strike the match across? well, when you strike it on that part, and the match lights, toward the end, when all the matches get used up, the paint around that part is faded because of the match lighting. that's what this blog is about. it's about how at the end of the day when i've stopped pretending, what i really think. it's my response to life. as honest as i can be.

this blog is formatted mainly as letters to the tangible and the intangible. sometimes what i write or create is about/to someone, or just relating a concept.

this blog is about me. and if you are in any way connected to that, i'd be happy to hear from you. to tell people about you.

this blog isn't about the glorious match flame... it's about the reality that the fire ends. and the truth behind it.

about me

about me

hey, i'm steve. i'm currently a student at the university of rhode island, where i am studying marketing. school's a lot of fun... well, not the school part. but the social aspect of it is phenomenal. i'm an RA in one of the residence hall here. (it's my job, but it doesn't feel like a job) but anyways, when i'm not going to class or working, i'm either hanging out with people, playing music, or doing stuff for origins.

art is. whatever. and i'm into it. if there were more museums around me, i think i'd get lost. i already spend far too much time online looking at art, reading art, or listening to art.

i'm a musician in the truest sense. i love all aspects of music, and i can never get enough of it. i've got the highest standards for what i listen to and create, but i choose to ignore those standards regularly, and just enjoy myself. like i said, i'm a musician. i love music.

i've been told i'm an artist, although it's not something i'm likely to admit. there are far more talented people out there, my artwork half the time doesn't even come close, but i create what's me, and that's what's important.

i want to change the world. what that means at this point, i have no idea. my life is a constant adventure to figure out how it'll all play out.

to quote rachel's buddy, don:
"my life testifies that the first thing i believe is that i am the most important person in the world. my life testifies to this because i care more about my food and shelter and happiness than about anybody else.

i am learning to believe better things. i am learning to believe that other people exist, that fashion is not truth; rather, jesus is the most important figure in history, and the gospel is the most powerful force in the universe. i am learning not to be passionate about empty things, but to cultivate passion for justice, grace, truth, and communicate the idea that jesus likes people and even loves them."

to real poetry

to real poetry

lethargic
apathetic
zebra
yea, i'm done