because i'm always changing, here is me now

because i'm always changing, here is me now

forgive me if i'm wrong, but it's been a good amount of time since october. i feel like i've changed a bit.

i'm finishing up my sophomore year at uri. i am still a marketing major. i discovered a lot about myself since october, including that i am an infp personality type, according to the briggs-meyers personality assessment. i learned how to trust God more during the course of this semester. i learned how to love people better this semester. i learned that not being able to do certain things is not necessarily a bad thing, but a chance to allow other people to step into the situation and help.

i am a drummer. i play the guitar, and i sing. my day to day life is deeply influenced my music. i feel like something is missing from my day if i haven't engaged musically in some way or another. whether it's listening to music, tapping out beats with my hands on my legs, thinking about music, or actually playing music... i don't feel like i've had a full day. i praise God every day for the ability to enjoy music the way i do.

i remember how i used to say that i would rather be deaf than blind, because i used to be such a visual person. i used to love taking pictures of things, drawing things, and doing lots of work in photoshop. that drive has shifted from a visual drive to an auditory one. it's strange how that happens. art has changed form for me in the past few months of my life, in serious ways.

i don't share this often, and it's odd to be sharing it in such a public place... but i feel called by God to be a pastor. i have for a long time. and God's got a lot of work to do in me until i get to the point where i am able to lead His church, but He'll provide the means. I can't do it on my own.

i am currently in a dating relationship. i know it's a shocker. although we've been dating for over a year now, i don't think i mention her much on this space. and because she may choose to remain unknown, i will say that if you haven't met her, or gotten to know her, you should. she's lovely.

i am still an ra at uri, but only to finish off the year. next year i am living off campus. it's the best place for me to be next year, and in a situation where i can grow and service God with other people involved in kingdom work in the best way possible. i am very excited for next year, but this one isn't over either.

i have discovered that i enjoy dark comedies. my favorite pop tarts are smores. i prefer generic medication over brand name, unless it's something like toothpaste or deodorant. (although, i do use generic brand mouth wash) i realize also that i could do a better job of cleaning my ears. i don't mind one ply toilet paper, it's cheap, and it still works.

i use old spice deodorant. usually the original scent, but pure sport is an okay option too. i use the pure sport bodywash, but i think once this bottle is done i will switch to original scent. i wear hanae mori cologne. it's the only bottle of cologne i own because it was given to me as a gift for my birthday since i asked for cologne. i also received chocolate covered gummi bears, dave matthews concert cds and plaid shorts. if there were other things that i forgot, i'm sorry, but those were things that stuck out in my mind. i use rusk shampoo.

i'm the kind of person that lets food sit in a fridge until it gets way beyond moldy before throwing it out. i'll need to get better at not doing this before next year. i don't know how to cook. i don't do dishes often. some people might say i don't do dishes at all. i'm not a neat person, but i'm trying to be better.

i gave up meat for lent. i figured that after lent was over i'd start eating it again. when i tried an assortment of meats again on easter, i realized that i prefer being a vegetarian. i'm going to stick with it. to be honest, i've never felt healthier, more energized, or more aware of how the foods that i put into my body can have in influence on my whole day. i find that i enjoy eating a lot more, because now when i eat, i can be creative in my food selection, instead of just going straight toward the meat. i can't say that i will be a vegetarian forever, but i can say that right now, it's what works. i enjoy it.

i have never stayed at the same job for over a year. the ups store is the exception because my stepdad owned the store, and it was the only place i could work. i have trouble finding jobs that i like. but i think i'm better at it now. although when i need money i'll do almost anything for work... but when i feel like i don't need it so much anymore, i get tired of the job that i'm at. i realize that the best jobs for me are jobs where i interact with people on a daily basis. where the majority of the job is interacting with people, teaching them things, learning things from them, feeding into them, being fed. i have worked at a collection of places, including, but not limited to, the ups store (i packed packages, typed up invoices, helped customers, cleaned...) cartridge world (i typed up invoices, arranged inventory, helped customers, filled ink cartridges, remanufactured laser cartridges, was a mascot as a giant printer...), ram computers (i helped people fix their computers, fixed them for them, talked to people at dell on the phone for hours... that kind of thing) diane miller photography (i retouched photos with photoshop for a professional photographer), doyle sails (managed the cutter that cut the sails, and patched sails together) camp keswick (i was a camp counselor for the summer... this has been my favorite job so far) URI HRL (i'm an ra, it's my second favorite job ever), i've also trained people on how to use their computers. wow ... i feel like that's a lot, but i feel like i've missed some stuff too.

in the mac vs pc debate i would have to say, "yep." i use both. i enjoy both. i don't like being exclusively one or the other, but i do have phases where i definitely do use one more than the other for various reasons. they're both great, and they both run well. i have no complaints. although, macs are more pretty.

i try very often to keep a journal, but i generally lose interest after awhile. sometimes i wish i could just skip holidays entirely. i don't see my grandparents enough. i don't spend enough time with my dad. i feel like sometimes i'm too tired or too busy to engage certain people.

i prefer salty snacks over sweet snacks. i can polish off a family size box of wheat thins in a single sitting after a large dinner. half price appetizers make me sick. i enjoy the desert shooters at applebees. i plan on making them next year when i live off campus. pistachio pudding is my favorite pudding at uri. i've tried them all here. it's also my favorite dessert here. i'll miss the food here next year i think.

electronics include: canon digital slr camera, canon compact digital camera, macbook pro, 80 gig ipod, external harddrive, self-built pc, electronic drum set, electric guitar, hp printer, panasonic ipod-ready cd deck, altec lansing speakers, an electric razor, a cell phone, and some sweet lamps. i think that's it. i'll level with you: i feel a bit guilty sometimes about the stuff i own, at times i feel like i should live more simply, and i'm moving toward that, but it's a slow process.

when i'm interested in something, people know. i throw myself into it without hesitation, and fully.

i'm a lifelong learner.

i think i summed me up the best i can.